Concentrating on the positives in your life will give you the attitude to have a good day, a good week, a good year, and great relationships. Focusing on the positives of others will do the same.
If you turn on the TV or listen to news on the radio, you must assume that nothing ever good happens. The media loves to report on bad things, especially the ‘dirty laundry” about someone. You rarely hear of the positive things happening. Unfortunately, good news does not sell as well as bad news.
The opposite is true for your life. Good news is better than bad news. It is so easy to get caught up in today’s world focusing on all the bad things happening. The result of focusing on the bad news is that it limits us in our moving forward. Focusing on the bad news causes us to have a historical and negative perspective. It causes us to look a the “what” and not necessarily the “why” of the event nor what can be done to correct it.
The result of taking in more bad news than good is that we become cynical or people who complain a lot. We become unappreciative of what we have and can even begin to see ourselves as victims.
Being lazy in thought
Focusing on bad news is easy and actually causes our minds to become lazy. When we let bad news dominate our thinking, we become reactionary versus proactive. We tend to judge and critique versus offering solutions and getting involved. We even can think “What’s the use?” (Those who exert power over us want us to have such an attitude. It is much easier to get a negative person to comply to your dominance than a positive person.)
Getting the good to rise to the top
You can change this. Focusing on the positive enables you to start achieving. A positive focus opens your mind to new possibilities and to new solutions. Focusing on the positive enables you change. It gives you hope. Focusing on the positive also helps other people change. It can change their thinking too.
Being attractive
A positive outlook on life actually causes you to be attractive to others. Other people want to be around you; to do business with you; laugh with you; get involved in your cause, etc. People have much more tolerance with a positive person than a negative. If you are a positive person and make a mistake, others will have a tendency to forgive and forget much quicker than if you are negative person. Negative people are no fun to be around and actually drain you of energy.
If you are having trouble in relationships, look first to yourself and your attitude. Ask yourself “Am I characterized by a positive or negative attitude?” Change in relationships first begins with you. You can’t change others but you can change yourself. If you are having trouble in your marriage, ask yourself “Do I say positive or negative things to my spouse? I am characterized by building my spouse up or just complaining?”
Helping others change
You can help others change but it has to be through positive statements. If all you do is complain and state the negative, you are working against the very thing you want. Many people think “If I complain enough, the other person will change” (my spouse, kids, co-workers, etc.). Unfortunately for you, just the opposite happens. They resist change and are defensive. But, when you begin to talk positively and consistently encourage the other person, that enables them to want to change and not be defensive.
See the book Whale Done! for a complete explanation of this principle. The book is about training whales at SeaWorld through positive reinforcement versus negative. Ever wonder how they get a whale to jump over a 10 ft. high bar? Read the book.
The three key principals in the book are:
- Build Trust
- Accentuate the positive
- When mistakes occur, redirect the energy
So, the real problem may begin with you and not the other person. Painful, but many times so true. A famous quote of Zig Ziglar, a famous modern life philosopher, is “We all need a daily check up from the neck up to avoid stinkin’ thinkin’ which ultimately leads to hardening of the attitudes.”
How to develop a positive attitude.
1) Start the morning off with a positive thought – read your Bible, listen to uplifting music, say something positive, etc. (Don’t turn on the news.)
2) Say out loud what you are thankful for at least once a day. It is even better if you say it to someone else. Your ears need to hear what you are thinking. (Verbalizing this has far more impact on yourself than just thinking it.)
3) Each week write down at least 5 things you are thankful for. Share that with your family.
4) At a meal, get each family member to share something positive that happened to them that day. If someone says “Nothing positive happened.” Don’t let them use that excuse. They are alive; something positive happened that day.
5) Tell yourself daily “I am a positive and thankful person.”
6) Give thanks to God for your blessings. You live in America; you are blessed!!!!
7) Stop complaining and don’t let others complain around you.
8) Stop gossiping. Gossip is a huge negative and creates negative thoughts and gives away negative thoughts. It is VERY destructive to YOU and to others.
Finally, whatever attitude you have is contagious. If it is positive, others will pick up on it. If it is negative, the same goes. If you want to be happy, act happy. When you act happy, your mind will convince you that you are happy. If you act negative (body language, speech, etc.), your mind will believe that too.
Your attitude is yours and only you can change it.
Faith
Ephesians 4:29 “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
Unwholesome talk can be a negative attitude, putting others down, sharing a ‘prayer request’ that doesn’t need to be shared. (This is a subtle form of gossip that is very prevalent and socially acceptable in many circles.) Unwholesome talk can actually result when a negative needs to be refuted but is not.
Do not be a contributor to unwholesome things by either being a participant or by standing by and not preventing the negative when you could.
Give thanks in all things. God is good. He loves us and cares for us. A negative attitude denies that fact.
Have a blessed day; it is a choice, and an attitude and requires practice!
